What Other People Think

Posted by : foongpc | Wednesday, February 10, 2010 | Published in

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Recently, I came across this very inspiring book called "Finding Your Strength In Difficult Times : A Book Of Meditations" by David Viscott.

I was particularly attracted to one of the topics in the book, which is What Other People Think.

So do you live your life always worrying about what other people think of you?

But what other people think is ONLY what other people think. Is it more important than what YOU think of yourself?

Other people are probably just as confused as you are, just as insecure, just as frightened, just as likely to make mistakes, to be envious, jealous or self deceiving, and therefore just as likely to distort what they hear and see.

In fact, I would say what other people think of you is really none of your business!


Image courtesy of mindbodygreen

But if you must know what other people think, it has more to do with how they feel about themselves than how they feel about you.

Other people are probably wondering what you think of them. Now isn't that interesting!

So would you let other people control your life? Take back control by focusing on what you think of yourself. Because ultimately, that's all that really matters.

FIRST COMMENTER

(84) Comments

  1. Mei Teng said...

    Sometimes, we can't be bothered by what people think. One cannot please everybody :)

    February 10, 2010 at 8:38 AM
  2. lina said...

    miss again to Mei Teng.
    earlier I stalk stalk this blog,saw no update. :D

    February 10, 2010 at 10:13 AM
  3. lina said...

    One cannot please everybody but sometimes taking heed of what other people think/say about you may make you want to be a better person?
    Of course being too concerned about what others say is not healthy too...

    February 10, 2010 at 10:15 AM
  4. eugene said...

    You see if we are aware of ownself, then nothing really matters, i am still trying to explore that so called realm in discovering my ownself,but to have a faith in the Man Above will surely help, dont you think so?

    Hey pal,you have a great CNY

    February 10, 2010 at 10:42 AM
  5. xin said...

    it is easier to say ignore what others think..but think positively, second opinions can be good too!

    February 10, 2010 at 10:49 AM
  6. [SK] said...

    yeah, this is a very old saying but always is so true.. don't care what people see you as, but more importantly how you see yourself..

    February 10, 2010 at 11:24 AM
  7. [SK] said...

    like what Mei Teng said, it's just impossible to please everyone, so as long as we are happy with what we are doing, then it's just fine..

    February 10, 2010 at 11:24 AM
  8. [SK] said...

    but come to think about this, not to say we don't care what people say.. we really have to think rationally and logically - whether other people's comments are constructive and get us to improve..

    February 10, 2010 at 11:25 AM
  9. [SK] said...

    so, in the end, that's really gotta depend on oneself how he/she wants to be.. it's the attitude of oneself.. whether he/she thinks everyone is critising, complimenting or giving suggestive advice..

    February 10, 2010 at 11:25 AM
  10. [SK] said...

    hmmm, i'm shocked on this short post from you today, hehe!! anyway, short and sweet and keeps us thinking.. :)

    February 10, 2010 at 11:25 AM
  11. Robo said...

    That's why....'Live in your way, not other peoples way of life!'
    Thanks.

    February 10, 2010 at 12:13 PM
  12. Cloudia said...

    Wise, Foong-



    Aloha, Friend!


    Comfort Spiral

    February 10, 2010 at 12:30 PM
  13. Bananazക said...

    "Men do not attract what they want, but what they are." ~ James Allen from 'As A Man Thinketh'. Just be yourself and to be aware constantly to have right view, right speech, right action, right effort and right mindfulness etc guess you do not have any time left to think of what others would feel or think about you. Most probably they would think as what you are.

    February 10, 2010 at 1:34 PM
  14. iamthewitch said...

    I try not to let what other people think affect me, but no doubt those close to me will have some effect...

    February 10, 2010 at 2:13 PM
  15. Angie Tan said...

    Agree with ya...

    Although, it's hard to shake that kind of thinking. Natural for people to compare and worry about how other people think about you...

    February 10, 2010 at 2:32 PM
  16. Ghosty Nana said...

    Sometimes we said tat to deceive ourself. Usually we can't see what is wrong with us. We need someone close to us to remind us we hv much to improve.

    We need to be open to all criticism and analyzed it for our own good. and not to be defeated by ppl's criticism!!

    February 10, 2010 at 2:57 PM
  17. CH Voon said...

    Feel never happy if always live under people's eye.

    February 10, 2010 at 3:03 PM
  18. aaronng88 said...

    i think.. hahahaha lol~ hmmm i think i'm blessed with the ability to not care what others think about me =) and at some point, it's rly rly helpful =)

    February 10, 2010 at 3:08 PM
  19. CheaHS@n said...

    Heard this from my troop leader while in Outward Bound School. There is this elderly merchant and his 9 year old granson was both riding on his donkey and while passing through a village, some people said to the old man it was not right too much weight for the donkey to carry. Old man dismounted and allow the grandson to take the ride alone..

    February 10, 2010 at 3:21 PM
  20. CheaHS@n said...

    2. When they passed another village people said should not pamper the grandson as the merchant is so old and need to be respected. Old man get his grandson off the back on the donkey and took the ride with his grandson walking side by side..

    February 10, 2010 at 3:23 PM
  21. CheaHS@n said...

    3. Then while passing by another village people said donkey is too old cannot stressed too much else he would die before reaching the destination. Finally the old man carries the donkey walk with his grandson..

    February 10, 2010 at 3:24 PM
  22. CheaHS@n said...

    4. This will never end, as long as we think it is right and not hurting others like Nike says " Just Do It".

    February 10, 2010 at 3:26 PM
  23. HappySurfer said...

    What other people think about us is indeed none of our business. If we are not hurting others by our words and deeds, there really is nothing to worry about. Life is really too beautiful and too short to be wasted on others negative thoughts.

    February 10, 2010 at 4:27 PM
  24. manglish said...

    this is, i tell you, the most interesting post, i might follow up on it, not that your other posts are not interesting but this one hit a chord in me bcs i am, in the past, all about what other people think of me, and i am learning that, like you said, they are just as confused as i am and if i spent another day listening to them and their opinions of me, i will go crazy ahhahahha....THANKS....happy cny

    February 10, 2010 at 4:51 PM
  25. Tekkaus said...

    Sometimes...I do care bout other people thing. Why? Because we will always see ourselves differently from others. :)

    February 10, 2010 at 5:53 PM
  26. Tekkaus said...

    But of course I believe that I am the king of my own destiny. :)

    February 10, 2010 at 5:54 PM
  27. Shopping in Las Vegas said...

    You should concentrate on making yourself happy first, and the rest will come naturally.

    February 10, 2010 at 8:05 PM
  28. Kelvin said...

    We all need other ppl's good impression about us to feel happy in some way.

    February 10, 2010 at 8:12 PM
  29. kenwooi said...

    i would like to control my life myself =)

    kenwooi.com

    February 10, 2010 at 8:55 PM
  30. Bravebear said...

    Sometimes people are just too caught up with what others are saying and doing. Humans have this habit that is called copying. It is like how we learn things by copying what is already there. But when we do things differently or out of the norm, the people that are in the norm will tend to say that things should be done in a way where the majority follows. But why care right?! As long as we get what we want or need, it doesn't matter which option we take. So, don't care what the no-brainers have to say if we are sure of what we want/need. Abit out of topic but who cares. LOL!

    February 10, 2010 at 10:11 PM
  31. ChrisAu said...

    Yes, I agreed. Don't bother with what others thought of you. You cannot pleased everyone and if they want to say something abt u, let it be. Most importantly, is yourself!

    February 10, 2010 at 10:45 PM
  32. foongpc said...

    mei teng, you are absolutely right! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:08 AM
  33. foongpc said...

    lina, haha you were stalking my blog? : D

    Taking heed of what other people say about you is OK, but just don't overdo it : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:09 AM
  34. foongpc said...

    eugene,being in complete awareness? Yes, that's indeed a goal worth striving for! Happy CNY to you too! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:10 AM
  35. foongpc said...

    xin, second opinions are good but they are just opinions. You can choose to accept or reject them : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:11 AM
  36. foongpc said...

    SK, yeah agree listening to constructive criticism is actually helpful as long as we don't be too concerned over it.

    I'm keeping this post short not because I want to but because I'm too busy to write a long one! Haha!

    February 11, 2010 at 12:13 AM
  37. foongpc said...

    robo, well said! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:14 AM
  38. foongpc said...

    cloudia, thanks! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:14 AM
  39. foongpc said...

    bananaz, you are correct! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:14 AM
  40. foongpc said...

    iamthewitch, those close to you like Saucer? Hehe

    February 11, 2010 at 12:15 AM
  41. foongpc said...

    angie tan, yeah, it's kind of easier said than done, but I think we should always remind ourselves that what other people think is just what other people think, nothing more, nothing less : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:16 AM
  42. foongpc said...

    ghostly nana, it's true we need to be open to criticism but if we overdo it, it's more harmful than helpful, don't you agree? : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:17 AM
  43. foongpc said...

    CH Voon, agree : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:18 AM
  44. foongpc said...

    aaronng88, good for you! It's your life, do what you want! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:18 AM
  45. Ghosty Nana said...

    everything hv to be in moderate. overdo in anything always harmful. Happy Chinese New YEar!

    February 11, 2010 at 12:20 AM
  46. foongpc said...

    cheahs@n, haha! I have heard of that story about the old man, his grandson and the donkey. Yes, you are right, when we listen too much to others, it's detrimental to us! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:21 AM
  47. foongpc said...

    happysurfer, you are right! Life is too beautiful and too short to be wasted like that! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:23 AM
  48. foongpc said...

    manglish, really? Well, I am glad this post hit a chord in you! It's my shortest post yet, I think, haha!

    Good to know you no longer concern yourself with what other people think of you cos we all know they are just like us and it does not serve any purpose to listen to screwed up opinions and distorted perceptions of others.

    Happy CNY to you too! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:25 AM
  49. foongpc said...

    tekkaus, yes YOU are the king of your own destiny. That's very very true! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:27 AM
  50. foongpc said...

    shopping in las vegas, agree : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:27 AM
  51. foongpc said...

    kelvin, maybe so but then you are depending on others to make yourself happy, and that's not good. Happiness should come from within and not dependent on any exterior sources : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:29 AM
  52. foongpc said...

    kenwooi, yeah go ahead! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:29 AM
  53. foongpc said...

    bravebear, I know exactly what you mean cos I just finished reading your post, haha! From your angle, I agree with you - who the hell cares? Just get on with life! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:31 AM
  54. foongpc said...

    chrisau, yes, most important is how we see ourselves! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:32 AM
  55. foongpc said...

    ghostly nana, walk the middle path? Haha! Happy CNY to you too! : )

    February 11, 2010 at 12:33 AM
  56. Ghosty Nana said...

    yes moderate in everything. :)

    February 11, 2010 at 12:42 AM
  57. khengsiong said...

    Well, if you are courting a gal, you certainly care how she thinks about you...

    February 11, 2010 at 8:35 AM
  58. khengsiong said...

    Mind share with us the meditation technique mentioned in the book? I am a meditator too, albeit a lazy one...

    February 11, 2010 at 8:36 AM
  59. wenn said...

    Should i receive any comment fr a sincere person, then i don't mind. Otherwise, i couldn't care less.

    February 11, 2010 at 9:15 AM
  60. T.H said...

    they are people that want to control life.

    February 11, 2010 at 10:13 AM
  61. Pete said...

    Wah, posing like ROCKY...agree with you!

    Wishing you and your family a Happy & Prosperous Chinese New Year!

    February 11, 2010 at 12:07 PM
  62. Shingo T said...

    The world revolves around me. Last I checked, the Man above created babes just so that they can brighten up my scenery.

    I can't be bothered about what people think about me. They better not, lest I poke them in the eyes with my fingers. =p

    February 11, 2010 at 12:53 PM
  63. Faisal Admar said...

    i never care! :) to me, you can't please everybody... so i choose to please myself :P

    February 11, 2010 at 1:20 PM
  64. Johnny Ong said...

    it wld be very difficult to live a life thinking of how people will think about u in every move u make.

    just be yrself, make life simple

    February 11, 2010 at 6:46 PM
  65. Jana said...

    sooo true!thanks for reminding us of it!keep blogging+have a lovely rest of the week!

    February 11, 2010 at 8:45 PM
  66. ShAKirA CHOONG said...

    GONG XI FA CAI!
    Wishing you HEALTH,
    WEALTH AND HAPPINESS!
    hugs
    shakira

    February 12, 2010 at 12:36 AM
  67. Ayie said...

    Hi foong! long time haven't sneaked here and other blogs too...

    February 12, 2010 at 9:20 AM
  68. Ayie said...

    totally agree with what mei said!

    February 12, 2010 at 9:24 AM
  69. Shopping in Las Vegas said...

    i mean that you are aware and have experiences with the paranormal, predict things before they happen, and many other things.

    February 17, 2010 at 5:53 PM
  70. Faisal Admar said...

    nowadays i'd prefer to read fiction as my head is full of so many things until i can get stress easily :D

    February 17, 2010 at 10:41 PM
  71. foongpc said...

    ghostly nana, I think moderate in everything is good! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:26 PM
  72. foongpc said...

    khengsiong, but the girl will also worry how you think about her, haha.

    Meditation techniques? Oh! There are no meditation techniques in the book, just a lot of inspiring articles to help with your meditations! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:28 PM
  73. foongpc said...

    wenn, yeah you can't care too much about insincere people! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:28 PM
  74. foongpc said...

    T.H, yes so we need to take control of our lives! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:29 PM
  75. foongpc said...

    pete,same to you! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:30 PM
  76. foongpc said...

    shingo T, wah! So violent? Poke at people's eyes? LOL!

    February 18, 2010 at 4:30 PM
  77. foongpc said...

    faisal, good to hear that! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:31 PM
  78. foongpc said...

    johnny ong,agree! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:31 PM
  79. foongpc said...

    jana, thanks! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:32 PM
  80. foongpc said...

    shakira choong, gong xi fa cai to you too! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:32 PM
  81. foongpc said...

    ayie, yes one can't please everybody! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:33 PM
  82. foongpc said...

    shopping in las vegas, err..are you leaving comments on the wrong post? : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:35 PM
  83. foongpc said...

    faisal, I like fiction too! : )

    February 18, 2010 at 4:36 PM
  84. Hanging lamps said...

    Actually, we only know one thing about bus routes: crime rates are higher where there are bus routes! That's why we protest against having them extended into our communities.

    February 19, 2010 at 6:49 PM