Beam Me Up, Scotty!

Posted by : foongpc | Friday, July 10, 2009 | Published in

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I hate traffic jams! I know I have complained about traffic jams before in a previous post, but that is not going to stop me from complaining again.

If you live or work in KL, you will understand what KLites need to go through everyday. It's more torturous than a day spent in Abu Ghraib prison. Ok, maybe not, but it's torture all the same.

Fortunately for me, I don't really live or work in KL. But sometimes when I need to go KL and happen to pick the wrong time to go, you can bet your last dollar that I always end up in a humongous traffic jam. How I wish my car could fly then!

Imagine if one day, we don't need to drive. Oh, I know some of you don't drive and some of you sit the train or LRT. Still, what if I could just say "Beam me up, Scotty!" and the very next instant, I would be beamed up and within seconds, land at my destination? Wouldn't that be great?


Image courtesy of jimis-cyberstore

Just imagine if we have this Star Trek technology, we would never have to endure traffic jams ever again! There would be no need for cars. No need for roads and expensive highways. And yes, no need to pay tolls too! Hooray!!

With no cars on the road, our air would be so clean. Isn't it nice to breathe in fresh air every single day? Car companies would cease to exist. Petroleum companies would need to close down. No more BMW, Mercedes Benz, Toyota or Honda. No more Petronas or Shell. Which is quite a shame, isn't it? Wonder how will Malaysia survive then?

And of course we would not be hearing the so often heard tagline "Now everyone can fly!" anymore. Why would we? There is no need to fly anymore. Planes would simply cease to exist. AirAsia is history. KLIA would just be a deserted, white elephant.


Talking about Star Trek, have you seen the new Star Trek movie?

With the touch of a button, Scotty would beam us to any country in the world. We would arrive at our destination within seconds! No more long, tiring journeys and jetlags.

There is no need for manual checking of passports. Which means no queues. Hassle free travel is the order of the day. We will only be beamed up after the automatic system checks our details and gives its approval. That can be done within seconds.

But if you think you can travel for free, think again. You still need to pay, of course. There's no free lunch in this world even with such an advanced technology! If you choose not to pay, the system would just reject you! Or if you are a criminal and think you can escape to another country to avoid being arrested, the system would ban you from traveling once your name is blacklisted by the Government or the authorities.

Now no matter how advanced a technology is, there will still be some imperfections. Some flaws, if you will. Although this "beam me up" technology is considered the safest way to travel, there will still be a 0.001 percent chance that you would not arrive safely at the destination of your choice.

What I mean is, you just never get to reach your destination. Because in the process of being beamed up, you are accidently burnt. Or to put it less mildly, cooked. That's the risk you would have to take, but it's such a small risk, your chances of striking the lottery or being hit by lightning is probably higher.

OK, if you have been reading up to here, you must be thinking what the heck am I crapping about, so I guess it's time for me to wake up. And come back to reality.

Beam me up, Scotty? I must be nuts! Have a good weekend, everyone! : )

FIRST COMMENTER

(76) Comments

  1. Mei Teng said...

    I don't work in KL...and it's indeed a blessing. I take about 30mins to get to office from home in the mornings. Going back, it's about 45mins. Distance may be far but I saved on travelling time.

    July 10, 2009 at 8:22 AM
  2. Mei Teng said...

    Ooh..you know what? I would love the Beam Me Up Scotty when I need to fly somewhere for holidays. I just hate flying! Not fear of flying..but I just can't stand those hours seated in an airplane.

    July 10, 2009 at 8:24 AM
  3. ::. Anton ::. said...

    Before Star Trek, I used to watch The Flintstones and Jetsons as a child and already wondered whether any invention of those flying cars wld happen, or how nice it wuz if we had Road Runner's fast feet. Naturally, the dream progressed to Star Treks "beam ups" and "beam away" as the fastest mode of transport. ^_^

    +Ant+

    July 10, 2009 at 10:54 AM
  4. [SK] said...

    hmmm have not thought about Scott actually, but rather what i have in mind is Doraemon's magic gadget "Anywhere Door", just stand in front of the door, think of your destination, open the door and walk through.. pup, there you are, within seconds!! :p

    July 10, 2009 at 11:31 AM
  5. betchai said...

    i hate traffic jams too, thankfully, i do not have to deal with it much here in san diego, also, i live close to where i work :)

    like Mei, I would love the Beam Me Up Scotty, I hate the long ordeal inside the plane for a long travel :( it is just so tiring sitting there and doing nothing :(

    July 10, 2009 at 11:44 AM
  6. Willie said...

    Foong,

    That's why i quite my job in KL and gone back to Sarawak.

    July 10, 2009 at 11:58 AM
  7. ladyviral said...

    Beam me up Scotty! *waits for it*

    ha didn't work.. dang it you mean it isn't invited yet?! Aiyar!

    Well, technically I would rather of the abilities of Vampires o_o. Super strenght, super speed, super hearing, and we get to be a bat?! How cool is that?! And we don't have to pay money for food cause we won't eat them! Just keep all money for everything else hahaha.

    July 10, 2009 at 12:29 PM
  8. foongpc said...

    mei teng, you are lucky to be able to travel to work and back without getting caught in traffic jam!

    I hate sitting in the plane for long hours too! "Beam Me Up Scotty" would be a dream come true for us!

    Imagine no need to travel to the airport, and carry our heavy luggage around! And no need to endure queues and flight delays. Oh, will someone please invent "Beam Me Up"? : )

    July 10, 2009 at 12:53 PM
  9. foongpc said...

    anton, no more spamming this time? Haha! Btw, your previous action had resulted in you being in my Top 10 Commenters List. Congrats! If you want to be my No.1 Commenter, you know what to do, right? ; )

    Flying cars are good, but only if my car can fly lah. If every car also can fly, then we are going to have another traffic jam, but this time in the air!

    To possess Road Runner's fast feet is great to run away from robbers and murderers and what not. But I prefer to be "beamed up" by Scotty. Less taxing on my heart. Haha! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 12:57 PM
  10. foongpc said...

    SK, you and your Doraemon!! Haha! Oh, just opening a door and we are there? That's cool! But what if you are bathing, and somebody just opened his/her door and enters your bathroom? : )

    July 10, 2009 at 1:00 PM
  11. foongpc said...

    betchai, oh yes, it's tiring waiting at the airport and sitting in the plane for hours! I guess the worst part of any travel is the airport and the flying part right? Now if this "Beam Me Up" technology is invented, traveling would be heavenly! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 1:02 PM
  12. foongpc said...

    willie, as much as I would like to go back to my kampong, I am a city boy at heart. I belong to the city! That's why I think this "Beam Me Up" technology would be the best thing that can happen, if it is ever invented. Btw, my kampong is in KL : )

    July 10, 2009 at 1:05 PM
  13. foongpc said...

    ladyviral, well of course it wasn't invented yet, otherwise would I be complaining about traffic jams? LOL!

    Haha! You even more "teruk" than me. Fantasizing about being a vampire, probably a cool and sexy one at that! haha!

    But if everyone is a vampire, then everyone will be flying around...hmm, not very ideal lah. And where do we get our supply of fresh blood? From the cows? : )

    July 10, 2009 at 1:09 PM
  14. lina said...

    I think, any mode of transport you use to get from one point to the other have risk factor.

    I'm lucky I only need to walk a few minutes to office everyday! :)

    July 10, 2009 at 1:18 PM
  15. Che-Cheh said...

    Yes I'm wondering what you're trying to get to. It's Friday weh... haha no la I know what you're trying to say. Even LRT and train will have their own jams weh. People jam in this case. Ha

    July 10, 2009 at 1:31 PM
  16. Medie007 said...

    oh... if only there's such technology...

    July 10, 2009 at 1:43 PM
  17. kenwooi.com said...

    haha its cool!
    but foong, are you fantasizing?? lol =P

    kenwooi.com

    July 10, 2009 at 2:15 PM
  18. kenwooi.com said...

    oh and regarding the startrek movie.. it's nice! =D

    July 10, 2009 at 2:16 PM
  19. Jonzz said...

    Oh cool, you also fantasize about beaming technology and teleportation! Let's start a club!

    July 10, 2009 at 2:20 PM
  20. khengsiong said...

    AirAsia will cease to exist, but Datuk Tony Fernandes will be the sole distributor of beam technology in Malaysia. Good luck!

    July 10, 2009 at 2:45 PM
  21. vialentino said...

    hi foong, sorry for my late reply. thanks for ur wishes. life being a dad is nice for me thou is tiring. baby and mummy both doing fine. will try my best to blog too.

    July 10, 2009 at 3:22 PM
  22. xin said...

    thank gooodness i live nearby where i work ^_^ ( i moved to a nearer to work place), so its only 10 mins to work and 5 mins back home!

    July 10, 2009 at 4:22 PM
  23. Pete said...

    I hate traffic jams too, therefore I only set my appointment at off peak hours! Have a nice weekend!

    July 10, 2009 at 5:00 PM
  24. ::. Anton ::. said...

    Well, I'm not a spammer, and never will be! :P lolz

    Just a subject of curiosity and wonder and recently as to the wonders of comments which hogged your posts via segregation into so many parts. We concluded that your commentators were actually your great fans! ^_^ Have a wonderful weekend & Cheers!

    +Ant+

    July 10, 2009 at 5:27 PM
  25. iamthewitch said...

    Haha really made me read the whole post and thought, What??? :P Anyway, it's the weekend! Don't worry about jams anymore. ;) Have a great one!

    July 10, 2009 at 5:29 PM
  26. Neo said...

    Wah, beam me to the chick next door will ya?

    July 10, 2009 at 5:48 PM
  27. A Common Singaporean said...

    My worry is that, if this beam me up technology comes true, a terrorist is gonna carry a bomb and beam himself bali marriot and beam off in a flash....

    So no, no beaming please. Stick to the BMWs. I love Beemers. One day...

    July 10, 2009 at 6:25 PM
  28. HappySurfer said...

    I just need a genie..

    Yeah, jams in KL is a topic much talked about. Even our highways across town (eg MRR2) are traffic-clogged. Fun. But this realtime CCTV feature in KL would help.

    Happy weekend, Foong.

    July 10, 2009 at 7:29 PM
  29. synical said...

    Apparition in the Harry Potter books is a similar concept - I'd take that also.

    I hate the long travel time.

    I've got a pretty short commute atm, so I'm not complaining too much.

    July 10, 2009 at 7:40 PM
  30. foongpc said...

    lina, yes you are lucky! It's true any kind of transportation will have risks. Including walking! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 10:48 PM
  31. foongpc said...

    che-cheh, people jam? Yes, that's a good reason not to sit the train and LRT! I prefer to be inside my car during a traffic jam - at least can still enjoy the air con and enjoy listening to the songs on radio : )

    July 10, 2009 at 10:51 PM
  32. foongpc said...

    medie007, yes, if only...

    July 10, 2009 at 10:52 PM
  33. foongpc said...

    kenwooi, you are damned right I am fantasizing. But I hope my fantasy will become reality : )

    July 10, 2009 at 10:53 PM
  34. foongpc said...

    jonzz, haha! Let's! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 10:53 PM
  35. foongpc said...

    khengsiong, wow, then he'll be mega rich! Not bad also if he can make it cheap and affordable. The tagline will then be "Now everyone can be beamed up!" LOL!

    July 10, 2009 at 10:55 PM
  36. foongpc said...

    vialentino, glad to know that both baby and mommy doing fine. Must be great to be a daddy! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 10:58 PM
  37. foongpc said...

    xin, good for you! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 10:59 PM
  38. foongpc said...

    pete, setting your appointments at off peak hours is a wise move! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 10:59 PM
  39. foongpc said...

    anton, really? That's your conclusion? Actually, those bloggers who "spam" my blog also do the same with many other blogs. It's just in the name of fun! Haha! Anyway, you have a good weekend too! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 11:05 PM
  40. foongpc said...

    iamthewitch, haha! Weekend no jams on the road, but will have jams at the car parks in shopping malls! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 11:07 PM
  41. foongpc said...

    neo, hahaha! I don't do the beaming, Scotty does it! : )

    July 10, 2009 at 11:08 PM
  42. foongpc said...

    a common singaporean, looks like you have better imagination than me. I didn't even think of terrorists!! Well, I'm sure once this beaming technology starts, there will be extra security measures in place : )

    July 10, 2009 at 11:10 PM
  43. foongpc said...

    happysurfer, ooh! Thanks for the realtime CCTV for KL! I would love to have a genie too! LOL!

    July 10, 2009 at 11:11 PM
  44. foongpc said...

    synical,the apparition in Harry Porter? That could work for me too! Another round of fantasizing! haha!

    I think most people hate long travel time. We just want to get to where we want to be in the shortest amount of time possible, don't we? : )

    July 10, 2009 at 11:13 PM
  45. Neo said...

    Scotty, beam me to the moon pls :)

    July 11, 2009 at 12:09 AM
  46. foongpc said...

    neo, why the moon? No pretty girls there!???

    July 11, 2009 at 12:25 AM
  47. Ayie said...

    Who wouldn't want such ease in transporting? If I can teleport also, that would be nice! Good enough that there isn't much traffic here now. The speed is just sometimes crazy though.

    happy weekend foong!

    July 11, 2009 at 2:23 AM
  48. Angie Tan said...

    Hahaha... This is what I think always too...

    Well, I think I might abuse the teleportation device to teleport ppl who pisses me off to Timbuktu. LOL!!

    Anyway, it depends on which part of KL you work. Where I'm at is at the fringe between KL and PJ and so, the jam isn't too bad now. :P

    July 11, 2009 at 10:13 AM
  49. EastCoastLife said...

    Good thing to share. See if you can help your nephew or niece win a HP TouchSmart PC (US$1300)!

    HP and Cartoon Network team up to present Toon Creator Awards!
    Go to www.ToonCreatorAwards.com

    Between 13th July and 30 September 2009, children aged 6 - 14 years can visit the website and create their own 25-second ending after viewing a 5-minute cliffhanger using either Ben 10: Alien Force (available starting 13th July) or Chowder (to be released in mid-August) characters.

    The competition is open to participants from Australia, India, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, New Zealand, China, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Philippines, and Vietnam.

    Have fun and Good luck! :)

    July 12, 2009 at 10:56 AM
  50. HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

    lol! you are so funny! great ideas though-I hate traffic jams too especially with two small screaming children.

    July 12, 2009 at 11:55 AM
  51. Foong Speaks Her Mind said...

    The moment I read the title I started thinking bout sci-fi movies, especially the ones where your DNA got scrambled when the beaming machine malfunctioned and you turn into
    a. a gross monster who eats humans
    b. a gross monster who's a hero

    So, no thanks. I'd rather be a boring human stuck in hours of jams everyday than be a monster but then...there are different kinds of monsters posing as humans living amongst us...

    ~the Foong who's not keen to having her DNA scrambled by some malfunctioning machine~

    July 12, 2009 at 4:51 PM
  52. molly said...

    Luckily I dont have to travel in the morning, the jam is killing. :):)

    July 12, 2009 at 6:32 PM
  53. imDavidLee said...

    last time i was KL oso got same feeling as u..traffic jam really waste me lot of time

    July 12, 2009 at 11:11 PM
  54. imDavidLee said...

    do u mind to exchange link with me?

    July 12, 2009 at 11:12 PM
  55. ladyviral said...

    Waaa I am "teruk" ar? True if everyone is a vamp, we would of food problem supplies.. hahaha.

    Naw don't need to be a hot and sexy one.. just a rich one is fine :P.

    July 13, 2009 at 9:39 AM
  56. foongpc said...

    ayie, no traffic jam at your place? So nice! What do you by the speed is crazy? Everyone drives fast?

    July 13, 2009 at 7:45 PM
  57. foongpc said...

    angie tan, send people you dislike to Timbuktu? That's a good idea, isn't it? But I think the system won't allow anyone to simply send anyone else off! LOL!

    July 13, 2009 at 7:47 PM
  58. foongpc said...

    eastcoastlife, oh thanks for informing me. Will ask my niece and nephew to have a look at it! : )

    July 13, 2009 at 7:48 PM
  59. foongpc said...

    health nut wannabee mom, oh yeah, it's no fun being stuck in traffic jam with two screaming kids! : )

    July 13, 2009 at 7:51 PM
  60. foongpc said...

    foong speaks her mind, haha! I guess I don't want to be turned into a monster either! But you are right, there are many monsters posing as humans living amongst us... : )

    July 13, 2009 at 7:54 PM
  61. foongpc said...

    molly,thank your lucky stars you don't have to travel in the morning! : )

    July 13, 2009 at 7:55 PM
  62. foongpc said...

    imDavidLee, where are you staying now? Sure, no problem exchanging links with you. Will place you under "Blogs I Follow" : )

    July 13, 2009 at 7:56 PM
  63. foongpc said...

    ladyviral, so you just want to be a filthy rich vampire? LOL!

    July 13, 2009 at 7:57 PM
  64. Ayie said...

    back there in the Philippines traffic was bad but here it's a lot faster. No traffic very rare that we encounter one. Some people drive in the freeway too fast like 80-90mph...what's that like 160-180kph? Boy, that's high impact with a collision!

    July 14, 2009 at 12:25 AM
  65. Monica said...

    Luckily i'm not living in KL! :-D

    July 14, 2009 at 2:07 AM
  66. Shingo T said...

    With such technology, you will see alot of fat people around. With such convenience, who will want to travel by foot? ^_^

    But yes, I hate traffic jams too. Its a waste of everyone's time. Maybe you can make jams more enjoyable by looking around for some eye candy? =p

    July 14, 2009 at 5:13 PM
  67. JL said...

    There are few traffic jams in downunder Malaysia, especially since the customs moved place. So it's a wee wee smooth ride to downtown or anywhere :D

    July 14, 2009 at 9:37 PM
  68. JL said...

    Wanna come to JB? By all means bring your car here. I lagi suka :P

    July 14, 2009 at 9:39 PM
  69. foongpc said...

    ayie, wow! 160kph? That's very fast! I won't dare drive so fast, cos I sometimes fall asleep at the steering wheel! Haha!

    July 15, 2009 at 2:02 AM
  70. foongpc said...

    monica, yes lucky to both of us! But I still get trapped in jams when I go KL at the wrong time! : )

    July 15, 2009 at 2:03 AM
  71. foongpc said...

    shingo T, you are quite right! No one will want to walk anymore since it's so convenient! But this beam me up system is not free. You gotta pay everytime you use it, so people will still walk if it's a short distance.

    Eye candy? Now if there is lots of eye candy during traffic jams that would be nice, unfortunately, most of the time, no eye candies anywhere near a jam! LOL!

    July 15, 2009 at 2:05 AM
  72. foongpc said...

    JL, I might just drive to JB. I always love driving on the North South highway. But not when entering cities and getting trapped in traffic jams! : )

    July 15, 2009 at 2:06 AM
  73. Ayie said...

    ugh, you sleep on wheels? hey foong, better stay alert or else you're up for a wreck! I pull over for a while when the sleep bug hits me when driving. Yeah, some people tend to overdrive here. tsktsk...

    July 15, 2009 at 3:07 AM
  74. foongpc said...

    ayie, yes I know, must stay alert! Probably driving fast at 160km/hr will help me stay alert! Haha! It may also get me a ticket from the police too : )

    So you tend to overdrive? : )

    July 15, 2009 at 11:13 AM
  75. bluedreamer27 said...

    oh my startrek was so great i have a DVD collection of previous startrek films sad to say that i love the old films than its latest remake... but i cant blame them i know that some of the main and original cast were gone ...but in the end im happy that they make a remake for this film
    cheers!!
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    July 15, 2009 at 7:55 PM
  76. Ayie said...

    not here! I don't want tickets coz so expensive I think $300-500 plus a record in the DMV. No good! In the phils...yes! lol

    July 16, 2009 at 2:30 AM