It's so hard to forgive, isn't it? When someone do you wrong, don't you just hate that person and vow never to forgive him or her ever?
But wait a minute, when you vow not to forgive that person, who exactly is suffering here?
Think about it.
Here's an example to make it clearer for you. Let's say, you discover that your girlfriend is leaving you because she is running off with your best friend.
So in anger, you say, "I'll never forgive you for that!"
Now there are hundred and one reasons why your girlfriend left you. It may be because you did not appreciate her, or she did not find you compatible, or she is money minded and your best friend is more loaded than you, etc. etc. Whatever the reasons, it does not matter, at least that is not what I'm trying to talk about today.
What matters is when you vow not to forgive her, and perhaps even extend that to your best friend, who suffers?
I can assure you it's not them. You are losing sleep, have no appetite, cannot concentrate on your work, and feeling all stressed up. Them? They are probably enjoying themselves and partying all night!
So you see, when you don't forgive them, it's YOU who suffer.
But then, you say "How can I possibly forgive them after what they did? And why should I since I'm the victim here?"
Well, when you forgive someone, you don't have to agree with what that person did. When you forgive her, it does not mean you lost, she won.
When you forgive him, it does not mean he's right, you're wrong.
When you forgive them, IT IS NOT ABOUT THEM.
It's about YOU. PERIOD.
You want your own life to work. You want to have inner peace of mind. When you forgive someone, you let go the burden and you feel free. You are once again in control of your life. Why let the person who wronged you control your life? Hasn't he or she done enough damage to you? It makes no sense to let them prolong your suffering!
Revenge should be furthest from your mind. There is no need to feel spiteful because the nature of things will take care of itself. Haven't you heard about the Law Of Attraction? Or the Law Of Karma ie. what you sow, you reap? Do bad things and bad things come to you? Do good things and expect to receive good things?
So when we forgive others, it does not mean they did no wrong. It simply means we accept that they wronged us, and we move on. We wish them well, and carry on with our lives.
Now that you know this, let me end this with a surprising twist. OK, here goes...
In actual fact, THERE IS NO ONE TO FORGIVE.
Huh? Scratching your head?
You must be thinking I'm contradicting myself!
Well, not really. Let me invite you to read this wonderful, inspiring story called "The Little Soul and The Sun" by Neale Donald Walsch. I hope you will be further enlightened by the story and perhaps understand why there is no one for us to forgive.
Before signing off, I would like to say thank you to Andrew Matthews for his wonderful book Happiness Now. It's from this book, I learnt about forgiving others. Go get this book - you won't regret it!
If today, there is someone you are still angry with, or someone you have never thought of forgiving, I hope my article here will change your mind. Forgive that someone, because you'll be much better off. I promise.